A few months after I quit drinking, I wrote this in reply to a heavy drinker who asked the simple question:

 

"What does sobriety look like?"

 

For me, sobriety means....

 

Mornings are clear and beautiful. I can get up at sunrise and appreciate the new day.

 

Evenings are productive. I've added several hours to my day in which I can accomplish things that require mental clarity--play a musical instrument, write, cook a nice meal, read a book or magazine.

 

It gives me time to set aside from the hassles of work and family schedules that I can count on--time that just kind of disappeared when I was drinking.

 

I'm more open to a different schedule. I don't have to rush home to start 'relaxing'--I can plan to pick up a kid here or take one there, or just walk around downtown in the evening and look at books, or go to a movie.

 

My kids are happy to be with me. They don't have to watch and wonder how the evening is going to go.

 

I have more money. Even if finances are tight, I can reward myself a little bit with the money I don't spend on wine or beer. I buy the fancy little ice creams or sorbets (Dreyers etc.) or surprise my kid with the CD he wants.

 

Things taste better. I'm sure smokers have much the same reaction when they quit. Perhaps it's because my taste buds are more sensitive, or perhaps my brain is less foggy. In either case, I'm appreciating foods I had forgotten about.

I can appreciate really good coffee again, rather than just seeing it as a way to jumpstart my brain in the morning.

 

When someone who cares about me asks if I'm drinking, I don't have to dissemble. It's not 'yes, but...' It's just 'nope.'

 

I'm healthier. It's easier to lose weight when you're not drinking. My blood pressure has dropped from High Normal to Optimal. I don't get dizzy and I never get headaches.

 

I'm less irritable. My blood sugar is more even, and I'm never hung over (see mornings, above). My emotions are less raw, and I'm less on edge.

 

It is much, much easier for me to deal with emotionally upsetting situations than it would be if I were drinking. I can think things through without getting angry, upset, or maudlin.

 

When I chose to become sober, I toasted the setting sun with my last glass of wine, calculated the hour at which that last glass would be out of my system entirely, and declared to myself that from that time on my house and body would be alcohol free. Five days later I drank one beer. I liked it. It really relaxed the 'nervous' part of my brain. I really liked it. I wished I had

another to drink. So that told me that, at least in my case, sobriety was a better choice than continuing to attempt moderation.

 

 

In the first 72 hours of not drinking my body went through some readjustment. Sleep patterns changed, blood sugar fluctuated. I drank fruit juice to even things out when I would normally have been drinking wine.

 

After a few days my body got used to the new cycles. I ate dinner

earlier, stayed up later, and woke up earlier--and still do.

 

At this point I sometimes think about what the benefits of drinking just a glass of wine would be. It's a pretty short list. Quitting drinking was much, much easier than I expected it to be.

 

Think hard about what you like about drinking. Then try a few days without it--it's really surprisingly simple.

 

If you're not drinking now, try to notice how things are better--little things and big things. And be sure to let us know how it goes.

 

Part II.