į a reflection of the past year
10. I have quieted the noise in my head- the irrational beliefs and demands that played like tapes- the self-downing, criticism that I tried to escape from, and replaced them with self-love, with recognition of my inherent worth, with words of encouragement, support, nurture.
9. I allow myself, through self-acceptance, to express preferences and set limits with fewer demands, less fear of rejection. I now believe that I am worth the risk that those I love might leave, or even stop loving me, but I recognize that I am not responsible for their feelings and responses.
8. I allow myself to feel—not distort or exaggerate or render dull—
even unpleasant emotions. I experience them, explore them, am at
peace with them, and I know that feelings are not awful, unbearable or
disastrous. I know that feelings donÕt have to be suffocated for me to make it through the day and night. IÕve learned how to replace self hatred with self recognition and acceptance, replace fear and worry with confidence, replace pressure, frustrations, shoulds and demands with preferences, desires, and permissions.
7. Now I look about me, look into othersÕ eyes, not afraid that they will see my shame, guilt, or fear that they can see into me and know my secrets. Now I look into their eyes and know they see my inner strength, my confidence, my peace, now know that what I see in their eyes is a reflection of how I see me: a self-assured individual with an enthusiasm for life.
6. I listen to my body, aware that physiological changes may be the first conscious indicator of distress, recognize when the early signs of stress and tension may be building, look for the demands that I may be placing on myself or others.
5. I accept others, much more cognizant of the individualÕs unique beliefs, thoughts, approaches, interests, influenced and created by his/her own history, experiences. I understand that there usually is no right or wrong answer, approach, solution, or lifestyle.
4. I recognize the past, the history, and the part it is playing today, I am better able- at least eventually- to evaluate what still is relevant, what is rational, what is useful, helpful in moving in the direction I want to go.
3. I experience gratitude and express it, place my focus on the positive, the pleasurable, what goes right. IÕve moved from ŅdonÕt sweat the small stuffÓ to Ņappreciate the small stuffÓ, for it is those things that make up the better part of my day. IÕve discovered that gratitude is regenerative: the more I express it, the more I see it, the more I express it.
2. I understand the importance of balance, of taking the time to relax and breathe, to step off the merry-go-round each day and reflect, observe, note, read, or just be.
1. I have found my freedom, something I now know was there within me all along: freedom to choose how to live, the ability to Ōlive deepÕ, recognize that with knowledge, hard work, patience, practice, and persistence, comes self-empowerment, self-management, self-acceptance, love of self, love of others, and love of life,
June 11, 2000
A longtime SMART Recovery member.