excerpted from Alcohol: How To
Give It Up and Be Glad You Did, by Philip Tate (See Sharp Press)
Developing motivation.
Think of the gains and losses
from your drinking. Write them down. Think of the gains and losses you can
expect when you quit. Write these down, too. Review what you've written again
and again. This builds motivation.
Set a goal for yourself: to
live without booze.
Then set another goal: to get
involved in other activities. You'll feel happier and suffer less. Following
through on this goal isn't easy. Many quit because they believe it's too hard.
It isn't. It's merely difficult.
Prepare for self-defeating
self-talk.
"It would be nice to have
a few. It'll settle my nerves. Nobody's perfect." You think and feel before
you decide to break your commitment. Problem thinking precedes problem actions.
First you learn to refuse to go along with your problem thinking. Eventually,
you eliminate it.
* You may believe that your thinking is the
unquestionable truth about reality. 'I need a drink‰Û¦I cannot quit‰Û¦'
Would you die without a drink?
* Your thinking may be illogical. 'Because I
have done some bad things, I am a rotten person.' Your actions may be rotten,
but you are not your actions.
* Your thinking may be selective. For every
happy event connected with drinking, how many negative things are you ignoring?
* Your thinking may be rationalizations or
excuses.
Some of the most damaging
beliefs are those that are absolutistic and illogical. If you challenge these,
you may find there is no evidence to support them, or you can prove them
impractical.
* 'I can't stand life without booze.' Is this
true? No. You may not like some things about life without booze, but you can
stand it.
* 'Because I've failed in the past, I'm no good
and I cannot do better.' You made some mistakes--even, perhaps, a few serious
ones. This does not mean you're no good or can't improve.
* 'I need booze or drugs to cope with stress.
Everybody has an escape and this is mine.' Booze does provide an escape--into
blackouts and oblivion. You'll do better to manage your stress and you'll
benefit just from the effort.
The thinking that got you
addicted was not your best thinking. You have the ability to change your behavior
by changing your thinking.
After you quit drinking, you
may experience cravings--a dramatic word for a strong urge or desire. Tom
Horvath [president of SMART Recovery] lists four common misconceptions about
urges:
1. urges are excruciating or
unbearable;
2. they compel you to use;
3. they will not go away until
you drink or use;
4. they will drive you crazy.
Urges are short-lived, and you
can help them go away.
1. Accept urges as a normal
part of changing;
2. When you have an urge, do
something--any harmless activity--to get your mind off it;
3. Gain a better understanding
of your urges;
4. Look again at your list of
the problems of drinking and the benefits of quitting;
5. Reaffirm to yourself your
commitment to a clean and sober life.
Is there any evidence you have
to give into these desires? No!
Is there any evidence you
cannot stand your urges? No! You just don't like them.
Is there any evidence that you
must be in control of these hungers, feelings, desires, or urges? No! Initially
you may not have full control of these feelings, but you control what you do
about them.
List the many things you can do
when an urge comes, such as reading, going to a movie, cleaning up your room,
or working on a hobby. List five or ten. Then, when an urge comes, shout
'Stop!'' to yourself and immediately start doing something you've planned to
do.
Unhook yourself by
changing your thinking and behavior.
Dr. Tate's book is available
from your local bookseller, or online at Amazon.com.