adapted from an original essay by
Dr. Maxie Maultsby
Right after people get started in
re-training their emotions, they want to know:
"How long will I have to
practice?" The most accurate, honest answer is: 'you'll have to practice
as long as it takes for you to get the result you want.'
At first, most people think I'm
just trying to be funny when I tell them that. To get them to see that I'm
sincere and that it's really helpful to keep that answer in mind, I give them
this advice. Think of the thinking part of your brain (your neocortex) as being
a rider; and think of the feeling part of your brain (your limbic system) as
being a horse.
When you start emotional
re-education, your neocortex is like a rider who has ridden his horse up and down
the same straight road to work for ten years.
Until now, he could trust the hose
to take him to and from work with little or no direct control But recently the
rider moved to another part of town. Instead of a straight road to work, he now
has to make one right turn on the way out and a left turn on the way back.
From the very first day after the
move, the rider (the neocortex) remembers and makes the correct turns without
mistakes. But the horse (the limbic system) doesn't. Instead, it has a strong urge
to go straight down the road, just as it has for the past ten years. The horse
will require time and lots of practice in being guided around the correct
turns, before it learns to make them without being directed.
How long will it take before the
horse learns to make the correct turns automatically? No one can say
beforehand. Every horse differs in its ability to learn. Every rider differs in
ability and willingness to teach his horse. The rider who gives his horse the
most practice will teach his horse to make the correct turns without direction
in the shortest time possible.
The same logic applies to people
who are giving themselves a rational emotional re-education. Those who
consistently practice the rational self-counseling method of emotional re-education
will emotionally re-educate themselves in the shortest time possible. But it
will still take as long as it takes.
So if you are persistent in doing
what you know is the rational thing to do, even if it doesn't feel right
because of old habits (cognitive dissonance, right?), it will eventually become
automatic and feel right.